my first wake

i din expect my first wake to be of my fren's sister.. de news was shocking to me.. i know it's hard for her too..
it was sad watching her with de puffy eyes and looking so tired.. when i noe tt her younger sis was taking o levels my heart just goes out to her... putting myself in her shoes.. i think it's sooo hard.. all de best to her.. i hope she does well!!
Feng!! we all love you.. be strong!!

when i was young i couldn't imagine wad it's like to have ur love ones away.. i even secretly hope tt i'll go first.. but de pain is always on those who r left behind.. hai.. life is so unpredictable.. u may be well the first min n gone the nxt.. tt's y dewen say should just live ur life happily.. u never know when u'll be going.. y make things so difficult!? "kan kai yi dian"

was damn pissed before the wake.. now i understand how my sis feels when i dun do my things myself instead call others to help me.. i hope i'm not like tt already... hmm..

monday blues

first day of sch and first day of training after soooooo long..

classes was ok.. went to catch a movie after sch.. wanted to watch connected but din manage to rush to amk hub after lesson.. hai.. missed de time slot.. watched another movie (housebunny) was lame.. tt's y it was funny.. bt ok la.. at least it had a moral in de end.. not like those mindless show.. not tt i dun like mindless show.. sometimes when u're really down or sian.. a good laugh might just make your day happier! but.... i soooo want to watch connected!! muahaha..

went for training n went to eat wif de rest of dem.. since i have sch at 3 today so y not!? reached home at 1am ytd.. freaking tired.. mum called at 12am (exactly) and nagged me.. sometimes i think de way i replied her kinda rude.. (pms) but sometimes the things she said kinda irritates me!?

mum: where you?

me: on the mrt on de way home

mum: y r u so late? don't u have to work tml?

me: (apparently she still thinks tt i'm doing attachment) no dun have work tml

mum: even so you have no reason to come home late! you mei you gao cuo

wha lao!! i'm like super angry when she said tt.. firstly.. since i dun have to wake up early y can't i b home a little late.. secondly.. i'm already on the way home!! wad's de pt of saying all tt.. i can't possibly teleport home or wad rite?! damn sian...

sometimes i think tt parents should be strict at the correct time.. i'm like 20 already!! no longer a teen.. n i'm still getting tis kinda shit.. rather can i say tt they r being "ba dao" cuz they wan things their way! y dun they understand tt we will eventually grow up and have a mind of our own.. i understand tt they r worried and concern about us.. but still..

i'm glad tt i dun have to worry about money, food etc.. but this is not the idea kind of life i wanna live.. i'm 20 and accomplished nth!! i've gt almost no childhood or rather memories la.. all i could rmb was mum din allow me to have toys!! sometimes being too strict will restrict the child's creativity.. (no wonder i'm so stupid now..) bt if u dun be strict u'll just spoil the child.. no wonder children nowadays act like a spoilt brat and take so long to become matured.. (of cuz not all the them are like tt..)

but at least i've learn something frm it.. never to treat my child the way i hated to b treated now..

trina once said.. little kids are forgetful.. thus parents have to keep repeating wad they said.. but they forget tt their kid will grow up thus they become very naggy..

how interesting.. hmm...
*grumpy me~

hmm.. my maid of 4 yrs plus had gone home.. went to have our "last" dinner tog yesterday..
hai.. when i c her walking out of de door with tears filled eyes.. made me feel like crying too.. i just can't look on any longer.. grateful to her for taking care of us all tis yrs.. i noe my mum is very sad too.. very thankful to her for taking care of my mum on many occasions so tt we can slp at ease without worries.. sometimes i may look like someone who doesn't cry easily.. i dun really like to cry in front of others especially ppl i noe.. bt i always find it hard to force back my tears.. so ya.. better to look away before i break down.. hope she'll find happiness..
chat with aoy on msn today!! this the first time i saw her on msn.. haha.. was funny with all de broken eng and some thai.. missed her soooo much!! i wanna go thailand!! any takers!?!? haven been playing vb since the pesta sukan competition.. skills gonna gt rusty soon.. prob coach will start "suan-ing" me again.. haha another wk of attachment before sch and training for me starts..

somethings are just meant to end before it really started.. sometimes i wonder if tt's my fate..
was weird not doing something tt i've always been doing..
perhaps i'm already looking forward to it!? hmm..
it's been a long time.. have you broken my wall of defence?!
suddenly i've so much things to say..........
prob emo cuz my maid is not around anymore!! haizzzzz