school of thoughts~

it's really been a long long time.. probably no one ever looks at it again haha.. 

n yet it may be a good outlet to "vomit" everything out without anyone seeing and assuming otherwise..

i guess i'm really bored while doing night shift.. sites revisited, searched etc. 

even tho status different now, and i may not feel tt way about u anymore, i dun deny tt i still care.. hoping someday u would be happy.. instead of now being treated like a fool and yet u dun really mind.. kinda understand how u're feeling but can't help but notice how foolish u r.. nevertheless, i wish u could open ur eyes and have a better future. Ppl say tt i should dislike u after what had happened, but thinking back, i guess at least u din lie and it might just be the same result after a while? Sometimes i would be thinking what will it be like if things didn't change.. i guess tt i'll can leave it to my own imagination...... 

Similarities attract or opposites attract? I've experienced both but have not come to a conclusion.. 

Maybe being similar means that many times we wun have to be too explicit bout what we're thinking.. but tt would also mean that we might gt bored very fast. No changes and everything is stagnant. Which could be the very reason why we din work out as well.. 

Being different have it's own excitement and we get to know n understand new sides of each other.. But being too different bring about many conflicts.. Difference in values, ideas, goals.. it is quite a big problem to be exact.. i can't stand some things he do, he can't agree with some things i do.. Quarrels start.. differences stays cause it's on the character and principles.. Sighh.. sometimes i wish we could be similar yet different.. lol.. contradicting? That's life.. 

Ready for the next stage? I would say no.. Rushed through the earlier stages tt i'm starting to doubt certain decisions that i've made.. thinking it would be better if i would have given more thought about it instead of following the flow.. never a decision maker but proves to be not tt good to just follow.. 

It's not about finding the perfect person but to love an imperfect person perfectly? Easier said then done.. been there done that, and still not able to do so perfectly. 

Maybe what i want is not a perfect person but someone who could love me just the way i like it and not the way he thinks it is but in fact it's not.. 

Guess working and being up at this hour brings up all the emotions and randomness. Haha. 

long time no update! haha

firstly.. thanks for all the people who cared and bother to send their wishes!! seeing all the wishes made my day a brighter one!! =)
coping well at work.. at least i hope.. haha.. tho i think might have some unknown complains from the radiologists.. bt i know tt i've been too easy bout passing unsatisfactory images.. i'll work on improving my quality of work!! =X

can't help but feel a little bit disappointed.. been waiting for something tt i know would nv come.. bt at least i now know tt u don't bother.. i swear tt i would not do anything tt isn't worth it anymore..

din realise tt ytd was a significant day for another person oso.. can u still see all the things tt ur family and frens did for u? chance upon ur profile ytd.. i can see how much ur sis is missing u.. i can't image wad it will be like if my sis would leave me.. nevertheless.. i hope u're happy now.. u will always be in our hearts.. was just thinking.. if we knew tt we had so little time with u.. wad would we do? what would we say? tho i'm nt very close to u.. u'll always be the strong da jie da to me.. the smart and confident u..

1 day before the commencement of my first job!

long long long time since i last updated tis blog.. haha..
i'll b starting work soon! dunno whether i'm prepared for it anot.. bt after slacking for sooo long.. also good to have something to do la.. hols since cny till now.. might b long for some.. might nt b for others.. when to 2 countries during this period.. i'm thankful for them.. it made my hols more colourful and not so boring.. it also made time past faster.. thanks for all de people who made my holidays wonderful!! =) guess i wun have such privillege of such long holiday again.. (unless i quit and shake leg at home haha! which even if happen.. have to wait for 2 yrs after my bond end)

went for another blood test ytd cuz there's something wrong with de first one.. found out tt mum has thalassemia n i might have it too! nth serious tho.. just anemic.. bt becuz i din noe bout it.. i had to give up 3 TUBES of blood for the tests.. white blood count on the high too.. a bit worried bout tt tho.. hope it drops after the 2nd test! mayb cuz my wbc too strong tt's y i seldom fall sick! haha.. i have a strong army inside me k....... =P

since i'm outside ytd.. n couldn't find any free person to eat ice cream with me.. i decide to make dessert! haha.. initially tot of making lemon sorbet again.. bt den i changed my mind n made orea cheesecake!! long time since i made it again.. made 1 small cake only.. tho who wanna have a share of it.. come find me!! bt... while stocks last!! hee..

gonna go back to y poly to work.. a bit scared.. haha.. even had dreams bout it for a few nights already.. hope tt everything goes well.. make less mistake.. n less ppl pls.. need time to adapt.. too many ppl will just stress me up and freak me out.. haha.. it's a good thing tt i start on a thurs cuz experience tells me tt there are less patients on thurs compared to a mon!! haha.. n pls.. de in charge don't say i'm toxic.. cuz u're de one tt wants me there! haha..

tho i'm just gonna start work.. i already feel like going for another holiday! haha.. bali any takers!? bt nt so soon.. since i dunno when i can take leave!! =P

oh ya.. i received a prank call 2 days ago.. by someone who posed as my fren! n he actually replied to all my questions relating to my fren! i said how come u sound different.. he replied.. i'm having sore throat and actually cough!! n i really couldn't figure out who it is.. since he called my house phone.. which not many ppl noe of it..
you better nt be someone i know.. cuz i hate ppl cheating me! have ur fun bt at de end of de day pls tell me the truth.. not nice to have ppl hanging somewhere in de middle! how i know u might even b a stalker! eeks...

You're Not Sorry - Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down

And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can say that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, no, no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold

And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for

And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
You're not sorry, no, no, oh
No, oh, no, oh, no oh
Whoa, no, no

this song keep repeating on my song list.. totally relates..
i think it's long enough.. time to put an end to all this..
kick me in the ass if i soften up..
i've made up my mind.. at least i planned to..

tis is the last straw.. don't wanna hurt anymore..

it's 2010 le...

let go of 2009 and move on to the new year...
i need more courage.. i need more time..
nevertheless.. i enjoyed my last and first day of the year! had steamboat n some drinks..
smiles, laughters, all the fooling around as well as the serious talks, tears from joy n sadness.. everything in a day!
thanks for all the support tt u all had gave.. i know i'll pick up n b stronger.. =)

lazy to think of new year resolutions..
i'm gonna start work in a few mths time! shucks..
from now till graduation.. super stress period..
from graduation till work.. nobody's free at tt period!! double shucks..

shld i even look forward to 2010?!

i used to think tt i noe u very well.. bt now i realise i dun know wad u're thinking.. one moment we can b like normal.. n the nxt.. u'll gimme a very big shock.. now i don't know if i can trust u.. i have to live with the fear tt any moment it will be different again.. it even came to a pt where i don't even have the courage to read the message.. afraid tt things will go wrong again.. i know i'm weak.. bt i rather tt u keep everything to urself.. don't let me know..

hai.. first time i drift in and out of slp.. dun have appetite.. definitely nt a gd feeling.. bt wad can i do.. i just have to adapt to it and stay strong... wad a christmas and new yr.. hai..

how i wish tt everything was just a bad dream.. less pain.. less complications.. if only life would b smooth sailing..

opps.. my itchy fingers dunno click wad.. now my old template is gone! n being an IT idiot.. i don't know how to put back my frenslist.. -.- now i lost all my frens blogs links!!
oh well.. perhaps it's time to start afresh.. i've been lazy to change my previous blogskin.. tho it's very pretty!! haha.. or perhaps i shld just close down this blog.. since i'm already not active in blogging.. haha..

com's super laggy today.. dun know is it because i'm dl-ing things.. or there's virus..

wan to buy a bigger memory space thumbdrive.. bt gt tempted by the external hardisk tt is having a promotion in my sch.. hmm... thinking thinking thinking..

my mum just transferred my hp plan under my name.. gt de student plan which i had been wanting for quite long.. bt 1 bad thing.. i have to pay my own bill nxt time.. haha.. gt unlimited sms now!! faster msg me!! haha bought de data plan too.. so now i can serve net without using wifi!! haha.. i'm afraid tt de 1st mth bill will shock me to death as always heard by others.. charge u for things tt u dun even noe.. anyway.. gt a new phone with my new plan.. anyone wanna buy phone?!

Nokia E63 red in colour..
comes with the standard package which includes, ear piece, battery, 1gb micro SD
*brand new* never even on it before!! (only a few days old..)

price: $350
interested parties please contact me!! prices negotiable!
frens.. if u have anyone in mind who might be interested.. pls intro! haha
enquires allowed!! =)
don't know if u're able to leave comments.. bt i'm nt going to put de my contact online..
can contact me in facebook tho.. if u're really interested..
or email me at shar0n_tan@hotmail.com (0 is zero!)
frens.. just drop me an sms! i'm sure u know my phone no.. =D
thanks!!