shld i even look forward to 2010?!

i used to think tt i noe u very well.. bt now i realise i dun know wad u're thinking.. one moment we can b like normal.. n the nxt.. u'll gimme a very big shock.. now i don't know if i can trust u.. i have to live with the fear tt any moment it will be different again.. it even came to a pt where i don't even have the courage to read the message.. afraid tt things will go wrong again.. i know i'm weak.. bt i rather tt u keep everything to urself.. don't let me know..

hai.. first time i drift in and out of slp.. dun have appetite.. definitely nt a gd feeling.. bt wad can i do.. i just have to adapt to it and stay strong... wad a christmas and new yr.. hai..

how i wish tt everything was just a bad dream.. less pain.. less complications.. if only life would b smooth sailing..