haven been blogging for quite some time.. dun hab de time to even online..
a div starting soon.. beginning to feel nervous whenever i think of de competitions.. trainings are more frequent too.. bt somehow i feel it wasn't really effective.. i even think it's getting worse day by day.. haiz.. is it de bonding!? or de attitude?! or wad.. somehow i dun really feel confident.. we are really lucky for de draw.. bt so wad if we pass de 1st round.. i noe we hav high chance bt i dun wan to feel really bad after we won.. will we play like we did during trainings? or worse.. or better.. de previous 2 times training wasn't really gd.. n i think my setting beri horrible!! how!!?? when coach say whether we win or lose all lies in my hands (as in setting lahz) .. really feel beri wad lorz.. de pressure is setting in.. i really need de confidence frm my team mates.. bt mama say i shld b de 1 giving dem confi. haiz.. how to?! i really dunno.. any advices? i'm always a beri passive person.. waiting for ppl to give mi confi. for ppl to help.. for everything to come on it's own.. i'm scared if my teammates dun play well.. is it due to me? r they angry at mi for wadeva reasons? once i gt such feelings i will juz drop to de bottom.. how to build up my confi!? jiu ming ar!!
went to watch finals ytd.. de feeling was really gd.. esp when de last pt end.. de jumping n crying n everything was so familiar.. i really dun wan to look on.. i'll miss everything.. lyn said we muz come back again tis yr.. somehow it looked so far frm mi.. bt we'll do our best rite?! i hope there'll b no regrets.. no thinking back on how bad i've done.. wad i shld n shld not do.. cuz it'll b too late.. i'm tired of tis.. there r too many regrets to look back on.. i dun wanna add on to de list.. hope tml's training will b better.. i need something to pull mi back on..
for my team mates.. lets all jia you!! looking forward to de match.. lets have smiles instead of tears k.. i noe we will all miss a lot of lessons during tis period bt dun giv up.. it's normal.. we need 12 hearts beating as 1.. we will catch up after tis ya!?
can't concentrate on my studies now.. it's juz so distracting.. grades is still so horrible.. been hearing a lot of nagging frm de teachers too.. "its already too late to start.. ask ur seniors.. they will call u to start studying now.." give mi some more time..